Tag: calm
June 15, 2017

How to fix your sleep


Sleep, its probably the number 1 health issue to
fix.  If you’re sleeping well your body will put up
with and awful lot more punishment.

Stress
poor diet
muscle pain
exercise recovery
fat storage
cognitive function

We  experience all of these very differently indeed
if we are able to get to sleep.

That is why I put together this video addressing a
comprehensive strategy for enhancing sleep and
waking up energised.

Since recording this it has been implement by
military personnel waking up at 4.30am and been
shared among them as a new performance
enhancing strategy.

It has been used by business people who sleep in
hotels as often as at home and has shown boost
energy and cognitive function.

Get it here

Rituals for better results

Ed Ley

June 12, 2017

How flowers make you live longer


Old people, we define people as old less by age

and more by capacity.

 

If you’re old, day to day activities become

challenging to the point where some don’t happen.

 

Once those activities are no longer possible we

look to either bring in help or place them

somewhere where they can get help.

 

Many studies have been done in this area.

 

One particularly fascinating studies done by

Ellen Langer involved giving nursing home

residents a plant to look after.

 

A very short time after the plants were

introduced, study participants began to

increase activity levels and improve

health markers in general.

 

A secret to health and happiness is service

and responsibility.

 

The belief that if I don’t do this, it won’t get

done.

 

The question of

 

How do I BEST serve those around me always

yields the best results if we keep asking it and

refining our answer.

 

It is a question that eventually results in our

putting our selves first.

 

After all,

 

Will your service be best if you are worrying

about money or you have created wealth for

yourself?

 

Will your service be best if you are full of

energy or run down and tired?

 

Will your service be best if you are calm and

present or stressed and worried about the

future?

 

The best service is provided by the

self centred.

 

But only when that self centredness is in the

name of service to others.

 

Divine dichotomy or something like that.

 

One side of the ME ME ME is a constant focus

on self as a need to ‘measure up’. The result is

often getting caught up in need for instant

change. I’m next eating x again. I’m going to

train 7 times a week. I’m giving up chocolate

forever.

 

The other is I’m going to bed or I’ll be good for

know one or I exercise consistently because

back pain with out me out of action.

 

Your idea.

 

Selfishness in the name of others.

 

Ed Ley

June 9, 2017

Sorry


I missed a couple of days there, I had an absolute

nightmare to deal with.

 

It’s a long story but to cut it short, my family

had an accident on the motorway not long

after landing back from Denmark.

 

All are fine but I got lost down and insurance

and repair black hole that resulted in my

having to spend a day and a half in London.

 

With all the chasing and discussing back and

forth I ran out of energy.

 

The truth is that we all have the amount of

Energy we have and we demonstrate

what is important to us by where we spend

our energy.

 

Yes we can create more energy but only with

different actions.

 

Language is great, but it also gets in the way

and confuses us a lot.

 

We say

 

Our fitness is important to us

Our health is important to us

Our sleep is important to us

Our job

Our relationship

Our children

Our friends

Our clients

 

Etc you get the idea.

 

and the words get in our way.

 

We use them as substitute for action to even

convince ourselves there is action.

 

But we demonstrate to the world and to

ourselves 100% of the time what is important

to us by our actions alone.

 

I say this only because sometimes, it’s can be

quite liberating to say;

 

It’s just not that important to me at the moment.

 

And be ok with it.

 

Ed Ley

 

June 5, 2017

How to become a food ninja


Information = seeking comfort in food will make

losing weight more challenging.

Knowledge = we are wired to seek comfort,

we cannot override the instinct.

Instinct= when I need comfort I –

go for a walk, listen to music, call a friend.

Information is great, even necessary. Information

is knowing how to block a punch. It’s for the arm chair warrior.

Knowledge is great, it helps you understand the

problem. It can demystify and removing the guilt

and frustration from the situation. It will probably

make the problem easier to solve without all

those emotions charging around.

But it won’t fix the problem.

It’s what patterns are to martial arts.

Not courage under fire but skill under safety.

 

Most diet advice is met with the response

“yeah, I know that. I know what to do, I

just can’t get myself to do it.”

But instinct.

Instinct is when knowledge meets action.

It’s the rare martial artist who can

transfer their skill to a life threatening situation.

It’s being in that stressful situation that would

lead to comfort eating and not choosing but

instinctively opting for a different comfort.

 

This isn’t something you will into being, it is a martial art.

It take repetition,

It takes gradual but constant raising of the challenge.

Approach it this way.

What’s is your white belt?
What is your blue?
What is your red?
What is your brown?
What is your black?

The challenge is only impossible when you either

turn from the fight (diet away from real life) or

aim straight for the black belt every time and

expect to be a master without any failure or struggle.

 

What each person needs to do to achieve each

belt is unique to them but one thing is for sure,

if you don’t change your approach you’ll

never win the fight.

Ninjas fight!

Ed Ley

June 1, 2017

The chimp that came for coffee


magine, as I am right now, that you are sat in your kitchen drinking a coffee.

Life is care free, you’re relaxed 😎 cool and calm.

Suddenly, in a cartoon like fashion- a monkey, THE monkey,

squeezes its way out through your ear.

You are still strangely relaxed given what has just happened.

Helped no doubt by the fact that the emotional part of your brain

in now sat in front of you rather than controlling things from the inside.

Your monkey however is anything but calm, wired to communicate

through emotion your monkey is trembling in the corner

eyes darting at every sound.

Fortunately it’s your monkey, you recognise the emotion.

It’s fear, you know it’s not rational but you also know what to do.

 

Your monkey has a life long love for hot chocolate,

even the making process seems to create more calm.

Two thoughts dawn on you:

This association really is life long, it’s almost as if it was

a pattern started when mum gave you breast milk and

cuddles when your were upset.

The second realisation is that all of a sudden, giving

comfort food seems like an act love not of failed

will power or self sabotage.

 

You clearly see a major source of the diet struggle,

diets aren’t just deprivation of food, they are deprivations of love.

 

The monkey calms down and comes and sits with you.

You start chatting and you quickly notice that your monkey

is completely incapable of rational thought.

 

Worse than that it keeps creating elaborate scenarios about

your relationships, job, marriage, money , clothes, appearance.

 

This person thinks this, this person thinks that,

who do I love?

Who loves me?
What if this, what if that?

With each new imaginary story the monkey grabs another

sip of hot chocolate, relaxes a little and then off it goes again.

 

You recognise your own instinct to do this and you’re glad

that most of the time you are able to rationalise it.

Although you do note that sometimes these stories

get the better of you too.

 

You empathise with the monkey but you really want to

understand what it gets from the hot chocolate.

“How does it make you feel you ask?”

“U’m safe I guess”

“But then I start to feel sick, and tired 😴 and even

more emotional 😭 it’s like a vicious circle” says the monkey.

“So why do it then?” You ask.

“Because that’s what love is!”

Suddenly it dawns on you.

It’s not the monkey that’s the problem, the monkey just wants love,

it’s the monkeys definition of love that is causing the problem.

 

“What else makes you feel love?” you ask the monkey.

It’s eyes light up!

“Hugs, and cooking for others, and long walks in the countryside,

and chatting with my best friends, and sex, and my favour films

and friends re-runs and waking up before everyone else and

enjoying the silence and yoga and being good at my job and

feeling like I’m making the world a better place and laughing

til my face hurts and singing and dancing and trying new things,

going to new places and meeting new people.”

 

“Wow, that sounds incredible, why don’t you do those things?”

You ask, a little inspired.

“I’m scared” says the monkey.

“Why” you ask.

“It’s the difficult conversations and what other people will think of me”

The monkey says.

Things are really starting to make sense to you now.

“But… you are worrying about those things anyway.

Do you think, if you’re going to be scared either way,

you might as well do it while being yourself and having

the time of your life?”

 

The monkey smiles and says something really cliché like:

“Let’s do this” and hops back into your ear

You vow never to tell another living soul about what happened.

But you do start taking action.

Today.

Because you see that being yourself is how it starts.

When you start to recognise yourself you start treating

yourself with love.

more often than not this means with health too.

Ed Ley

May 30, 2017

Anxiety: not so bad after all ?


There once was a young boy who had some

pretty important exams coming up.

 

He was not anxious at all…

 

He failed.

 

——–

 

There was once a lady who had a very
important presentation coming up.

 

She was not nervous at all.

 

she did minimal preparation.

 

It didn’t go well.

 

——–

 

There once was a man who didn’t know when

he needed the loo.

 

He wet himself a lot.

 

———-

 

There once was a girl who never felt tired,

 

she fell asleep while riding her bike.

 

This didn’t go well either.

 

———

 

We tend to do one of three things when we are

uncomfortable.

 

We medicate it

 

Escape it

 

or

 

We act ON it.

 

Some of the feelings we have start judging as

bad.

 

The only reason for their existence is for us

to take action to AVOID a problem, they aren’t

a problem in and of themselves.

 

The flavour of the discomfort is telling us

where to look.

 

It’s all feelings.

 

No need to have feelings about the feelings,

 

Just practise acting on them better and sooner.

 

It’s the best way to learn how to turn the

volume down.

 

Start trusting them.

 

Ed Ley

Anxiety: not so bad after all ?


There once was a young boy who had some

pretty important exams coming up.

 

He was not anxious at all…

 

He failed.

 

——–

 

There was once a lady who had a very
important presentation coming up.

 

She was not nervous at all.

 

she did minimal preparation.

 

It didn’t go well.

 

——–

 

There once was a man who didn’t know when

he needed the loo.

 

He wet himself a lot.

 

———-

 

There once was a girl who never felt tired,

 

she fell asleep while riding her bike.

 

This didn’t go well either.

 

———

 

We tend to do one of three things when we are

uncomfortable.

 

We medicate it

 

Escape it

 

or

 

We act ON it.

 

Some of the feelings we have start judging as

bad.

 

The only reason for their existence is for us

to take action to AVOID a problem, they aren’t

a problem in and of themselves.

 

The flavour of the discomfort is telling us

where to look.

 

It’s all feelings.

 

No need to have feelings about the feelings,

 

Just practise acting on them better and sooner.

 

It’s the best way to learn how to turn the

volume down.

 

Start trusting them.

 

Ed Ley

May 25, 2017

Guns, Germs and Steel


I am currently reading an epic book called,

Gun, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond.

 

As Bill Gates says on the dust cover, it:

 

“Lays a foundation for understanding human

history”.

 

Today there are some massive question to

answer about the world the answers to which

have often been ‘explained’ by ‘racial traits’.

 

Language dominance

Wealth distribution

Food distribution

Power distribution

Population density

 

How did we end up here?

 

This group are harder working,

This group more intelligent,

This group more resourceful,

This group more co-operative.

 

… is what we often hear.

 

As this book helps us to see, we are all of

us hardworking, intelligent, resourceful,

co-operative, the fact that we are human

and our genetic line survived this far against

all odds places us here.

 

There is only one factor that determines our

success.

 

This factor allows one group of humans to

progress so far beyond another that they

can appear to be an entirely different species.

 

Horses, domestication of animals, steel, germs,

writing, language- the arrival of these

resources and the groups to whom they arrived

rather than individual traits can be tracked back

through history and explain our current reality.

 

Our environment determines our behaviour

and so our advancement.

 

Yes our interpretation of our environment has

a huge factor but history demonstrates over

and over that ‘success’ follows from

resources.

 

Thousands of years ago resources were simply

those that were in our current environment.

 

If we lived in a place that had metals or horses

we would advance in the way that those

resources allowed.

 

Today we can choose our own advancements.

 

What we watch

What we read

Who we spend time with

Who we don’t

The places we spend time

The things we eat

The hobbies we choose

The problems we choose to focus on

The things we learn.

 

Success as we choose to define it,

for ourselves rather than measured against

others, is a product of the environment we

build.

 

So build.

 

Ed Ley

 

May 24, 2017

Forever young gift or curse?


J.M Barrie. Famous for creating the character

Peter Pan the boy who never grew up.

 

Perhaps less well know is the fact that the part

about never growing up was a very really part

of his life.

 

Barrie suffered from what is known as onset

Dwarfism. He had a difficult upbringing but

the point Barrie retells is a time when he over-

heard is mother say that she only loved him as

a small child.

 

It was thought that this was enough to keep

him for ever growing again.

 

It sounds life a fairy tale in itself but this is

far from an isolated case.

 

This story was seen over and over again in

the orphanages of Romania where children

were too many to care for.

 

And the orphanages of England where growth

correlated with the strictness of the staff.

 

The textbooks document one particular case in

detail.

 

A young boy removed from an abusive family

home after being diagnosed with onset

dwarfism.

 

[a condition where the body stops producing

Human growth hormone or absorbing calcium]

 

…was placed in the care of a particular nurse.

Under this nurses care he began to grow, he

stopped for a 2 week period when she went

on holiday. On her return he eventually grew

to be an average size man.

 

Extreme stories perhaps don’t create a clear

picture for comparison but they do help us

see what humans need.

 

We picture ourselves as machines, sleep here,

work here, exercise here, eat these things –

get this result.

 

Then when we struggle or fail to do the things

we said we would do we see ourselves as

malfunctioning in some way.

 

The stories above point to a clear fact.

 

We are wired for connection.

 

We drink

We smoke

We eat stuff we don’t want to

We go for drinks after work

We say, “go on then”- when we want to say “no”

We agree when inside we disagree.

 

We are tribal animals,

It’s not “NICE” to connect.

It’s life and death.

 

We will always place human connection above

health and awareness of this fact is vital if we

are to understand and in turn change our

actions should we wish to.,

 

So don’t be hard so hard on yourself but start

getting comfortable telling the story of what

is important to you.

 

You’ll be amazing how many people want the

same things. Make them your tribe.

 

Ed Ley

May 23, 2017

YO-YO DIets


The way we treat other people is a product of our self-image and our values.

ie if we see ourselves as kind and compassionate above all else

then we identify with these values and we seek to demonstrate them.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t sometimes act in the complete

opposite way.

It just means that we can identify the times when we are not

being the person we wish to be and then make adjustments

to our behaviour.

If we place our focus on kindness and compassion and

seek to be those things in every interaction then we start

to become (slowly or quickly) the person we wish to be.

 

This makes us happy.

 

DIETS and why we so often YO YO

The way we treat ourselves is a product of our self-image

and our values.

^^^^ the way we eat for example.

ie like the above story, it’s not “I will be kind to this person”

it is “I am a kind person.”

It’s your identity not a chosen act.

The way we eat isn’t –

“Today I will eat this because the plan says”

It’s

“This meal, the next and the next are a demonstration of who I am.”

If you keep slipping on the diet

Start owning it

It’s part of who you are and who you are seeking to be, not just an action.

Start with I AM

Start speaking it

I AM… can start the process of not going backwards.

Diet change starts with self definition or it fails.

The person who says:

I AM a vegan – doesn’t eat meat
I AM a smoker – smokes
I AM strong – never stops seeking to demonstrate that.
I AM healthy – never stops seeking to maintain that.

Self image is important to us, we always seek to demonstrate it.

Carry on…

 

Ed Ley